Online Dating Advice You’ve Never Heard

So now that I’m a married woman, I’m supposed to be some sort of expert on love. Or at least that’s the impression that I get when I talk to some of my single friends. I am supposedly an online dating whiz as well, seeing how I was in a 6 year relationship with someone I met on RSVP and I met the hubby on Plenty of Fish.

I’ve been asked for online dating advice, so I thought I’d write it all down.

The best piece of advice I can give anyone on a dating site is not one of those cliched lines you hear bandied about on the interwebs. Those are important to keep in mind, yes… but I doubt you will find what I am going to say published anywhere.

So what’s this magic hint?

USE THE BLOCK BUTTON

This is going to sound extreme but abuse that block button for all it’s worth. Some of the reasons I’m about to list may sound really trivial but in all honesty, they’re all for the best. Why waste your time and effort and someone else’s time and effort if you know that there’s very little chance that you’ll want to even talk to, let alone be in a relationship with? Do you entertain every Tom, Dick and Harry who comes up to you at the bar? Would you put a wild lion next to a zebra and expect them to be buddies?

There’s nothing wrong with being fussy. So use that block button.

Here were my common reasons for blocking someone:

They don’t match what you look for in a partner

I’m not saying to dismiss someone just because they have a tattoo and you don’t like tattoos (if I did that, I wouldn’t be married to my lovely husband!) but to take a look at the complete picture they’ve set before you. Weigh up the pros and cons. Your gut instinct is usually right. If you’re a homebody who prefers to stay home with a good book and a cup of cocoa, do you honestly think that guy with “embarrasing night club photos”-worthy photo on his profile picture is going to be compatible with you? I don’t think so.

I’ll give you another good example. If you come across someone who has kids and you don’t like kids or don’t feel comfortable raising someone else’s kids… block them. Even if you’re on a dating site just to expand your social circle (a really good strategy to take by the way… more on that later).. others aren’t on there for that reason.

Even if you think that the person is a really nice guy, just block. Why? Because the last thing you’ll want to do is waste the poor guy’s time and break his heart when you try to force the relationship to work but then freak out because he, understandably, has to put his kids before you.

They have a threadbare profile

Dating sites vary in terms of price. Some are free and others require that you pay to get in contact with other people. They all have one thing in common though – it is absolutely free for you to create a profile.

If someone is truly serious about making friends/forming a relationship as opposed to a booty call, I don’t see any reason why they wouldn’t milk this freebie for all it’s worth. Why wouldn’t you tell someone about yourself in a nutshell on a profile? Why wouldn’t you take the time to make yourself stand out from the rest?

Your online profile is your first impression. If someone can’t make an effort to put up a decent first impression when they can do it in their pajamas in the comfort of their home without having to worry about taking a shower… I shudder to think of how little effort they’d put into that first meeting.

They send you a one line/pleasantry email.

My pet peeve was receiving one line emails. Namely of the “Hi, how are you?” persuasion.  It’s such a lazy conversation starter and one that is so easy to shut down. Think about the possible scenario:

Hi, how are you?

Fine.

*crickets*

And you’re back at square one. Only a more awkward square one all because you were to lazy to initiate a proper conversation.

There’s an old chestnut floating around in the self-improvement arena – if you want to build rapport with someone, don’t ask them a close ended question, ask them a subjective/opinion question instead. In other words, don’t ask them a question which can be shut down with a word or a couple of words. Ask them a question to get them talking – it’s much easier to build on a conversation based on the details they provided you as opposed to one word.

Scenario One

Did you have a good weekend?

Yea, it was good.

*crickets*

vs

Scenario Two

What did you do this weekend?

Oh I went to the beach just to chill out.

Nice, which beach did you go to? I generally prefer Floreat beach because of bla bla bla…

*conversation ensues*

How hard is it to phrase an opening question right? NOT HARD AT ALL.

I also found it incredibly insulting to receive one line emails. I invested my time in creating an online profile so that you’d have a better sense of who I am – surely you can make the effort to come up with a talking point in relation to that? If you only have time to send a throwaway line, you’re surely not even interested in knowing me as a person.

Even if I didn’t put much detail in my profile, how hard is it to ask someone what their hobbies are? Or if you don’t want to ask any questions, at least introduce yourself?

Case in point: the last time I was on a dating site, I specifically put in my profile that I wouldn’t respond to one-line emails. Guess what: 80% of my emails were one liners. Since they couldn’t  make the effort to make conversation or even pay attention to my profile, I blocked them all.

Again, if you’re too lazy to even type a few extra sentences on the computer… how can I expect you to keep me engaged when we meet in real life? BLOCK.

Who cares if all these reasons sound a bit too harsh. What can I say, I’m Singaporean – it’s all about efficiency. I’m not interested in wasting my time or anyone else’s for that matter.

I know I’ve outlines my reasons for blocking, good ones which I believe EVERYONE should employ so that you can weed out the time-wasters. That said, don’t ever feel like you have to justify your reasons for blocking someone. It’s your life, you know it best and you’re responsible and liable for everything related to it.

Here’s some more food for thought, where online dating is concerned:

Investigate, investigate, investigate. 

Go on, do it. If you have already established some form of correspondence and you have a full name, Google it. Look for it on Facebook, Twitter and beyond.

But wait… isn’t that kinda creepy or stalker-ish?

Unless you’re going to obsess over someone’s Facebook profile, then no. Put it this way – whatever you find online in the public arena WITHOUT hacking into a website is fair game. People who upload things which are viewable by others who are NOT their friends are undisputably responsible for their actions. It’s not your fault if they’re either stupid, social-media unsavvy OR exhibitionists who don’t mind sharing what they look like first thing in the morning with everyone on the internet.

Wow, I can’t believe how much I’ve written. And I’m sure some of you might be thinking, man that’s a lot to consider, online dating is not as straightforward as I thought.

Well, I’m not halfway done yet.

If you’re seriously seeking a relationship why wouldn’t you invest the time and effort to ensure that the next relationship you go into is THE ONE? Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t get people who yearn for a happy ending (the whole married with kids and living in your own house shebang) yet bounce from one relationship to another.

If you are so inclined to find the one and settle down, yet manage three partners in a span of two years (and you’re NOT a teenager or a young and reckless, hard-partying twenty-something year old), there is something wrong with YOU. Either you don’t really know what you want or you don’t know yourself and therefore you don’t know who you should be spending your time with.

Which brings me to another point:

Don’t online date because you feel like you need someone to complete yourself. If you’re not comfortable in your own company, you’re not ready to online date. Why? Because if you’re not happy with who you are, chances are, you’ll clutch at anyone who throws a compliment your way and that you’ll settle for something for the sake of instant relationship gratification… which often will not end well.

Treat an online dating site as a way to expand your social circle. It’s not that you’re unhappy with your current group of friends – you just want to network and meet new people.

As funny as this seems, I think that people just want to be loved – and because that urge is so strong in some people, they’re willing to sacrifice parts of their lives and souls (which they shouldn’t have to) in order to be lovable to someone they deem worthy.

Treat online dating as friend finding – don’t invest too much of your heart, just take it as meeting a new friend and seeing if you can strike up good conversation. Can you spend hours chatting to this person on the phone? Can you be honest with this person about everything? Your soulmate is meant to be your best friend after all, so logically speaking, shouldn’t you start as friends first anyway?

If you take this tactic, be very blunt. Make sure you state in your profile, correspondences and face to face meetings that you’re only after something platonic for the time being. If that person is nice, they’ll still be friends with you. If they suddenly go quiet… you don’t want to know them anyway. If they get angry with you – well, you can point out the obvious.

Lastly, and most importantly, don’t expect results overnight. I had a profile up for three years (with long periods of inactivity in between bursts of random profile browsing) before I met Ant. I’m sure if I had tried harder, I might have gotten attached earlier but if I did, I may not have crossed paths with Ant when I did. So don’t be discouraged if it seems like everyone is a dud. Get off the computer and go outside. Give the dating site time to generate more members for you to peruse. Enjoy the sunshine, read a book, go to the beach in the meantime… who knows, maybe you’ll meet somewhere there! lol

There’s more to life than the quest for your soulmate. And as I learnt, often, you end up falling in love when you least expect it. Heck, I didn’t expect to fall in love with the hobo I very nearly stood up!*

If you do decide to proceed with the online hunt, then I bid thee well. Remember, keep the right attitude, use the site to your benefit and employ a little common sense when it comes to safeguarding your own personal safety. You’ll be fine.

Also… USE THAT BLOCK BUTTON!!

*True story, I spied Ant from the safety of my car. He had his long hair and a beard, features which generally turn me off men and I was very tempted to start my engine and drive off. I ended up telling myself I had nothing to lose but a friend to gain… and the rest is history.

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Not Even a Mom and Already Worried

A common question Ant and I are asked is when we’re going to have kids. I think this in part is due to people’s curiosity of what the ultimate mongrel child would look like (and their fixation with the idea that our mixed heritage means that we will produce very good looking sprog). On top of this, those who are close to us know that we love children – although some are under the delusion that I will make a good mother… my husband included. HAH!

To be honest, as much as I want to have children… the idea of being a mother scares me shitless! There’s so much to worry about. I still get paranoid about knocking my ring against anything… can you imagine what I’d be like with a helpless baby? And then there’s worrying about whether I’m helping them with their development as opposed to hindering it. Making sure they learn everything they need to know. Oh, the list is endless…

What I’m most worried about though is producing a rude, spoilt brat. Don’t get me wrong, I was (and still am, to a degree) doted on by my father… but I am nowhere near as spoilt as today’s kids are. A few days ago, I saw a post on my Facebook newsfeed which showed screenshots of Facebook/Twitter comments of kids/pre-teens complaining about getting a BLACK iPhone instead of a white one. Or getting an iPhone instead of whatever else it was that they wanted.

Yesterday, while we were out fishing, a nice man in his late 40s came over to have a bit of a chat with us while his kids fished. As we were chatting, his wife came up to the jetty to ask what time they were leaving – he said it was up to the kids. She then asked whether they should have Chinese for dinner. To which the daughter immediately raises her voice:

“NO we’re getting FISH AND CHIPS not CHINESE. I get sick when I eat that stuff. NOT HAPPENING” and so on.

Now I totally understand how some people may not be able to stomach particular types of food. But the manner and tone at which she rejected her parents was unbelieveable. I’m sure I would have gotten a good telling off if I acted as entitled as that child.

I really hope that my (very few) Malay genes kick in and turn me into a tiger mummy to prevent this from happening. The materialistic nature of teen culture today is a formidable foe. I worry about social media and its effects of growing kids. I sure as hell hope my kids won’t be twerking for attention. I hope I can instill good values in them – I want them to be compassionate, generous, loving, kind, thoughtful, objective, curious little humans. And that’s just a start.

You tell me, how is one meant to wistfully dream of parenthood with challenges like these?

 

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What a Year

I’m exhausted. I can’t believe how quickly 2013 went.

But then again I’ve been too stressed out by most of it to even notice the time slipping away. It started in February with wedding planning, getting married in June, moving house in August, honeymoon in September… oh my, just thinking back about it is making me sleepy.

So as you can imagine, I’m hoping 2014 will be a bit more enjoyable. We have lots to look forward to: our trip to Melbourne and Sydney. The Lion King. Star Wars Burlesque. More financial security. And leisurely planning out 2015.

Hopefully, I can have more of a routine which involves dancing and the gym. This year has felt way too frenetic and unstable. I always felt like something was disrupting my activities; I found it too hard to maintain any form of momentum. I think this is the year I had an unprecedented number of injuries/sick days and I’ve never felt more lethargic than I have this year. It really took me by surprise because I was so used to having so little sleep after near daily late nights of dancing. Now all I want to do is collapse in bed. I think stress really took its toll on me this year. It really gave me a good whack in the head and made “exhausted” my most used word of 2013.

Fingers crossed, I’ll be more relaxed in 2014. I think I will be because we’ll be fishing more often. I think Ant is quite chuffed that he snagged a woman who enjoys fishing – quite unlike his previous partners who would whine about being bored. Although maybe we’ll remember the sunscreen next time. Oops.

I want to spend 2014 with the people that matter and foster better friendships with others who I may have ignored previously. A few things this year have made me reevaluate friendships and made me realise that I need to make more of an effort with some people and to preserve my sanity where others are concerned. Hopefully, I’ll make good decisions next year.

Simple wishes really. To be honest, I’m just relieved and excited that the light at the end of the tunnel is drawing closer. Goodbye 2013, I’m glad you’re nearly gone. Bring on 2014!

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Fit by Fit, Bit by Bit

I have to admit that I’m nowhere near being the gym junkie I was about four years ago…  but I’m still pretty chuffed with myself, fitness wise.

Yesterday was the first time that on my second visit to the gym in a week, that I was able to ride on the bike for the full 45 minutes. It doesn’t seem like much but considering I could barely make 30 mins every time I popped in for a second visit, I’m going to celebrate this little victory.  I also managed to push myself through more weights; I think the frustrations of yesterday helped me out with that. “I might have a few more kilos on me but I can lose that – what are you going to do about your face?” has been one of the few choice slogans that have been playing in the back of my mind. Hehe.

And today, sore triceps aside*, I am mostly recovered from the gym and am not hobbling around the office feeling sorry for myself.

*admittedly though, yesterday was my first time resuming my triceps weights. Heh. I hate tricep exercises with a passion. 

So I’m pretty happy with the little progress I’ve made so far. Of course, I’m still mostly impatient even though I know full well that it will take time to get a rhythm going and to see results. I just have to keep telling myself that every little bit helps and that I’m moving in the right direction.

I’m super proud of the hubby as well – he played sports four times last week and so far this week, it looks like he’ll be having at least 2 games. Hopefully, we’ll both be good and head into the gym on Saturday morning before what will probably be an indulgent Christmas dinner, courtesy of his office.

I’m also taking pride in the fact that I’m being a better eater. I make it a point to have a high-fibre breakfast of oatbran every morning and I’ve been a bit of an anti-carb nazi at dinner with the hubby. I still have snacks in my drawers – they aren’t the healthiest (they’re usually nuts of some description, coated with different flour-based coatings) but at least it’s a shift a way from the unhealthier chocolate bars and even-more-processed biscuits that I used to have. Also, thanks to my filling breakfast, my snacking habits are better – I don’t snack because I think I have to, I snack because I feel hungry.

Fingers crossed, I’ll be able to fit some pilates in next week. Can’t wait to see my old instructor! And then hopefully, I’ll be dragging the hubby to pilates with me… hehehe :D

Step by step, we’re getting there our way and on our own time. Every day we’ll go from strength to strength and build a better relationship, just the two of us. I’m excited.

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Another Amazing Year

My, oh, my, what an amazing year you’ve had, my darling HUSBAND. Yes, HUSBAND. Somehow, in the span of one year, we’ve managed to get engaged, plan a wedding, GET MARRIED and have three kids (furkids, that is).  You also managed to land a job with an exciting new company, get promoted AND finally obtain your driver’s licence. We did two moves in as many months – and we’re still nesting away in the bid to make our home our sanctuary from the craziness we are surrounded by on a daily basis. We celebrated our engagement in Sydney and honeymooned in Singapore and Thailand.

Indeed, it’s been a truly memorable year with lots of dizzying highs and some treacherous lows. I can’t help but feel so pleased and so proud of you, my love, because you deserve every bit of happiness and every milestone you achieved. I’m so honoured that you chose me to be your cheerleader.

You’re my truly amazing husband. You’re the most caring man I know and I love waking up each morning to you saying, “Good Morning Wife” and asking me if I slept well. You keep me standing when I’m too tired or drained to hold myself up. With you, I can bare my soul knowing that you will never judge me and that you’ll always be there no matter how spectacularly I fail. Heck, the fact that you’ve stuck around for this round in spite of all my quirks is pretty damn phenomenal.

And what makes you even more amazing is the fact that you love so freely and generously. Despite all the hurt and all the crap you’ve experienced in your life, you still manage to stay positive, keep an open mind and just love. It blows my mind, to be honest.

I could go on about the many ways you’ve made me such a happy bunny but I might nauseate everyone reading this. Or worse, you might get a big head which will force me to counteract the positives with the few negatives… but I won’t do that because it’s your birthday. :p

So as I was saying, it’s been a massive year for us and I can’t imagine doing all that and still remaining (somewhat) sane with anyone else but you. They say that marriage is about two people coming together to build a better life for themselves – I think I picked the best partner to complement what little skills I have. I am so thankful for you.

Here’s hoping the year ahead will be as epic as the last one because you, my darling, deserve nothing less.

xoxo

Your wife

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Apparently We’re Dumb Newlyweds

So Ant and I have been married for nearly six months now. Of course we still get the usual, “So how is married life treating you?”, to which I reply that it’s going great. And in all honesty, it has. Aside from a few bad habits we need to kick, we have sort of settled into a good groove and it’s been mostly daisies.

Our friends seem mostly happy for us but some have felt the need to offer unsolicited advice. From the usual, “make sure you spend lots of time together before you decide to have kids” to “don’t forget your friends” and “marriage is all about compromise!”… I have a feeling that even though I feel like I’ve heard it all, that there’s more to come.

I’m trying to get used to treating what people say with a pinch of salt because a lot of the time, the advice is well-intentioned. In reality, I sometimes get irritated because some of these people really aren’t in any position to offer any advice – ie, they’re not married themselves or not in a cross-cultural relationship of any sort. It reminds me of the time this naive 22ish year old decided to take it upon herself to try and get me out on the dating scene… I guess because she perceived that being single is such a miserable, lonely existence. I’m sorry, you know jackshit about me, what gives you the right to impinge your services on to my uninterested self?

Everybody’s relationship is different – they are made of different personalities submerged in different situations. Unless you can fully immerse yourself in my life, including bearing my history, quirks and whatever it is that makes me ME, you really have no right to slap on a generic piece of advice and tell me how I should go about being married.

I’ve come to realise though, that my closest of friends have not offered me any pearls of wisdom which just goes to show that the people who truly matter won’t impose their opinions on you. Instead, they’ll try to understand you. They won’t make snap judgements and they’ll always be there with a listening ear. And that’s all I need, really.

I really shouldn’t be disappointed when people make hurtful statements – I should just, as my sister once told me when I was having a rough week, to focus my attentions on improving my married life.

It sounds Stepford-wifish, to want to prioritise my marriage – but maybe I’m old fashioned that way. I just believe that it’s better to make a shared investment for the greater good. Even though there is room for improvement in terms of what I want to achieve in MY life, I feel like I’m in a better head space to go out and get it when I know that everything is going well with my husband. Call it happy wife, happy life syndrome.

And so, I try my best to put in 110% in our marriage. Call me conservative but I believe that’s what marriage implies anyway: the expectation for extra hard work and commitment to make sure it doesn’t all go to shit (no offence to my unmarried but harmoniously-committed friends and their partners). After all, marriage is a legal contract – there’s a lot more to go through if you decide to split and see other people. As opposed to just packing up your things and running into the arms of a new lover when you’re not married.

Again, not dissing the authenticity of a non-wedded commitment but just making a completely objective point here. Heck, that’s part of why I got into a relationship with Ant to begin with – because I knew that worst case scenario, if things didn’t work out, I can easily leave and start again. It’s the mindset I’ve had since things ended with Bruce. Worst case scenario, you cry for a week but you survive and move on; it’s not like you’re married and have to go through a legal system to reclaim your independence.

But back to what I wanted to say: I think it’s precisely this notion of needing to work harder because we’re married which has mellowed me out in the last few months. I still have my fiery moments but I am learning to bend a little more and accommodate my husband more so that we can live harmoniously together. And I’ve been rewarded with morning cuddles EVERY day of our marriage. Even though we are far from swimming in cash, I feel like the most well-taken care of girl in the world. (Of course, I also realise that this could be just the honeymoon period… but I’m optimistic that we’ll be able to keep the momentum up).

So really, I think we’re doing fine without the advice. We’re not perfect but we’re in a good place for a clueless pair of newlyweds.

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Trying to Be Good. Trying

I’ve not been feeling my best lately. Admittedly, I’ve been slack with my diet*. I’ve not been controlling my portions as much as I used to. I’ve been naughty and not having proper breakfasts.

*of course I realise that part of it as well is that I have not been as active over the last 8 months as I have been over the last few years… and I’m slowly fixing that too.

I’m tired of not being happy with myself. And I’m tired of being tired (being unhealthy is exhausting. I felt so much more energised when I was hitting the gym regularly).

So I decided to do something about it. I’m not about to go health freak crazy because realistically, I am not interested in having a six pack nor do I want to run marathons. I just want to be healthier and shed some weight. So it’s back to making small changes and setting achievable goals that will make sense for our well-being in the long run rather than giving us short-term immediate satisfaction.

Last week, I started making oatmeal/oatbran porridge to bring to work. It’s been really good because it’s been filling me up and it’s certainly more fibre and fruit than my previous breakfast of whatever snacks (usually wasabi peas/almonds/flavoured nuts) I had in my office drawer and tea or apple cider vinegar. I’ve had a good week so far – today’s the only day I am resorting to snacks because I forgot to make some porridge up last night.

I’ve also been trying to get more veggies in my diet. I love my husband and his cooking but I always feel like I don’t have enough veg when I eat with him. It’s usually a lot of protein… and root vegetables.

This week’s revelation however, has to do with sugar.

I am a notorious sugar fiend. I love ending a meal with something sweet. I think I’ve actually been quite good lately – I’ll have a small portion of chocolate and hide the rest away so that I don’t eat it.

BUT… I just realised that I’ve been counteracting my (relatively) good behaviour by consuming a lot of hidden sugar. JUICE. This epiphany struck me last night when Ant and I went shopping and we bought more juice – I thought to myself, hang on, didn’t we just buy juice a couple of days ago. I put it down to me being senile (I tend to be, lately) and we went home.

A couple of hours later, I noticed our new juice box on the table. And there was nearly half left. An epiphany hit me. GOODNESS. Over the course of ONE MEAL, Ant and I had downed nearly a LITRE of juice. Not freshly made juice. But processed juice.

Now, as I said, I don’t have a sweet tooth; I have sweet TEETH. But the way I see it, if I’m going to consume sugar, I want to make sure I’m truly savouring it (Ben and Jerry’s) and not having it as an accompaniment to my main meal. I drink to quench my thirst while I’m eating, not to enjoy sugar. It’s such a waste of my sugar points… sugar points I could have enjoyed elsewhere… sugar points that counteract the good I’ve been trying to do!

So, I’m cracking the whip and reducing our juice spending in the house. And no more juice bottles on the table. Hearing myself, it sounds like such a small steps but that’s what pursuing a healthier lifestyle is all about right? Baby steps that will all add up to a greater good. I’d rather have a sustainable future than go crazy hard and lose it all because it’s too hard to maintain it.

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The Power of the Wife

So, we went to the Amateur Pole Queen competition at the Fly By Night Club this weekend to watch the Gremlin compete.

While the hubby was at the bar during the intermission, the hostess resumed her spot and started introducing the Gremlin. He spotted an inattentive chick ahead of him, so he swooped in and placed our orders.

She turns to him and says: hey, my friend is performing next! To which, he turns to her and says: My wife’s best friend is performing next. And she’ll kick my ass if I miss it.

Nicely played, hubbs. Nicely played.

 

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Switching Teams

I’ve been an Apple girl all my life.

I was brought up on Apple. When I was 9 we had an Apple LC 2 – my sister was studying Mass Communications and it was the recommended computer because of its graphical abilities. It was a simple computer to use, with it’s innovative graphical interface (no more long command lines to type out!) and 9 year old Nadia had a lot of fun playing the tutorial which was meant to teach you basic functions (clicking, dragging, etc) because it meant I got overfeed the fish in the latter part of the game. Tee hee.

We then upgraded to a Performa. My sister then had an iMac and at some stage, an eMac. I can’t remember the chronology of the latter two. I do know that for my 18th birthday, dad got me a beautiful ruby iMac. I still dream of her from time to time and wish I could have converted her into a fish tank.  I was sad to leave her behind when I came to Perth, but no matter, I churned out countless of essays for uni on my trusty iBook.

So you can’t really blame me for cringing when the hubbeh suggested I get the S4 as my new phone. I’d gotten the iPhones as soon as I could afford them and had never switched out to anything else.

When I heard all the criticism of the iPhone 5S, I was concerned but decided that I would still get it anyway because it was going to be an upgrade from my iPhone 4S anyway. I was in my comfort zone damnit.

But this comparison chart from Mashable was the final nail in the coffin.

Seeing it enraged me. The fact that the spanking new iPhone 5S was STILL behind the established Galaxy S4 in terms of not having a MicroSD slot, having nearly half the camera resolution and a lower screen resolution… that insulted me.

It’s no secret that Apple products are ridiculously overpriced. But Apple fanatics, in the past, have been able to counteract it with the age old arguments about quality of design and the innovative new features.

I see nothing awe-insipiring about the iPhone 5S. In fact, it has become the final straw after a series of disappointments. I am cycnical about iOS 7, given how the rep of iOS 6 was so bad that I refrained from updating my iPhone (it’s still on iOS 5). And a year after its launch, Apple Maps is still a fail.

The way I see it, the way Apple is going, it’s going DOWN, DOWN, DOWN under the leadership of Tim Cook. I’m sure the Mac Evangelists will call me a traitor but if you’re truly an Apple fan, you shouldn’t blindly support mediocrity. You should be downright offended that Apple would dare to take your loyalty for granted and think they could get away with a substandard product. To accept something below par is against the Apple ethos.

Apple was renowned for being cutting edge. Steve Jobs was a tyrant who pushed the boundaries and got stunning results. We could forgive Tim Cook in the beginning because hey, he was stepping into a new role and had gargantuan shoes to fill. But to still be dismal now?

I’m taking this era of darkness as my opportunity to send Apple a message – I may love you but I’m not going to encourage shoddiness. Until you come out with something to wow me, something that the late Steve Jobs would actually be proud of, I’m not coming back. You can keep your backdated phones, you can keep your countless iOs bugs. I’m happy sleeping with the enemy right now.

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Like Turning Water Into Blood

Married life has been good. We’ve just come back from our holiday (more on that in upcoming posts, for sure) so we’re nice and rested – which is great because we’ll need all the energy we can muster to get the house in order! But that’s just a minor hurdle to overcome, the important thing is that we’re living harmoniously and slowly chipping away at the bits and pieces that need to be done in order to really settle into the home.

The only thing I’ve been struggling with is family. And no, it’s nothing to do with the personalities or politics or anything like that… it’s just… getting used to the logistics of it all.

You’d think that it’d be a breeze for me  seeing how I come from a big enough extended family that a few more branches would easily fit on the giant tree. The thing is though, I’m not close to everyone in my extended family – I’m only in semi-regular contact with a handful of cousins and aunties. Both Ant and I are close to our sisters, which means each partner having to adapt to already-established relationships/rapport and running with it. I think we managed well on both ends – it helps that we have awesome sisters :D

Fitting in two sets of families in one trip was tough but we managed to strike a good balance, I have to say, for our first try. The hubbeh had to remind me to spread time more evenly because I’m so used to spending 80% of my holiday time with my sister. It felt weird telling Natt that I couldn’t spend time with her but at the same time it was so lovely to spend my time getting better acquainted with Fi, Malcolm and Zoe.

Speaking of little Miss Zoe, I am still not used to calling her, Ava and Lola my nieces.

It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that it feels very strange calling them that; I don’t feel like I’ve properly earned it. It probably doesn’t help that I don’t have nieces (or nephews) of my own – the closest being the clone army’s sprogs. Ant reckons it’ll take more trips to Singapore and Melbourne (not that I’m complaining! hehe) to fix that, I reckon it’s just a time thing.

Sort of how I’m only just getting around to referring to Ant as my husband.

Yes, you’ll still catch me staring at my ring and going, holy cow what the hell is that doing there?!

So fingers crossed, the hubby and his family will be patient with me when it comes to family relations. I’ll eventually get the hang of being an Aunty and having nieces. Eventually.

Categories: The Not So Secret Life of Mrs Edwards | Leave a comment