I heard from a acquaintance recently and it’s been on my mind for the last few days.

I was actually quite surprised that she talked to me because we aren’t all that close – but I guess with Facebook, it’s so much easier to forge ties and it’s much easier to reach out to people. I know whenever I post an emo update, I get some replies from the most unlikely people.

Aside from the surprise, I felt quite honoured that she trusted me enough to tell me all the details of her life, in particular, something disturbing that’s been happening to her. As every word popped up on the screen, I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by this sense of dejavu and dread, rolled into one. It was painfully familiar and immediately, my mind started racing and prognosticating. It made me worry. Yes, WORRY about this girl who I barely know.

So intuition kicked in and I did the big sisterly thing of trying to offer support and frank advice. I mean, that’s what my sister would do for me, so I did this for her too. Only, I can’t help but wonder whether I was too blunt.

Time will tell I guess. We’ll see whether she continues talking to me or not. I hope that she does. Or that if she doesn’t, she at least has someone else to talk to. The idea of her not being able to confide in anyone at all makes me sad.

Really, what do you do when you can see that someone is headed for trouble? Do you let them fall and just ready yourself to catch them? Or do you yank them out of harm’s way so that they don’t have to go through the turmoil in the first place?

It’s a hard decision to make… and I sincerely hope none of my friends ever have to make that decision.

Current Mood: One of those days…

Boy was it hot, hot, HOT at the Mustang last night!

Nowhere near as hot as the Deen on Slimechata night but I was definitely downing more water than I normally do. And I had to get a cranberry juice for a much needed sugar hit.

I enjoyed all the dances I had last night… and I was superbly lucky that there weren’t enough girls because it meant I got lots and lots of dances with Sal while I was at it! Hehehe. Terribly selfish, I know but when a fantastic dancer/leader like Sal (who is rarely out nowadays) comes out to play… you take what you can get!! hehehe.

I’m quite happy because I managed to bust out a few double spins as well during shines. I’m really stoked because I’ve never done double spins without being led by the guy. And doing them unassisted just felt stressful because I’m always worried about getting the timing right. But last night, it just seemed like the right time to try them out. So I did. And I was half-successful. And I couldn’t stop trying it every chance I got. I’ve still got to work on the doubles because I wasn’t as smooth as I wanted to be… but very stoked that I managed to pull them off. Even if they were half-arsed. Because at least I didn’t fall over! hehehe.

I did get really frustrated at one point last night. I was dancing next to this guy who, I believe thinks he’s hot stuff on the dance floor. I say this because he’s one of those guys who will only dance with the really pretty girls or the really good dancers. Since I am neither, obviously I don’t figure in his selection.

However, that’s not my gripe. What really irritates me is that fact that he thinks he’s a good dancer, good enough to be picky about who he dances with, yet he is SEVERELY lacking in consideration and spatial awareness skills.

I was on the dance floor with my partner when he invaded the space next to us. Which was bad enough, seeing how we were already pretty close to another couple. But. This idiot was NOT dancing in the slot (or parallel) to us. He decided to go against the grain and dance perpendicular to us, putting his partner right in our path.

And he didn’t care where he swung his partner which meant my partner and I had to alter our dancing for him even though we were there before him. Bastard.

Sorry. It just irritates me when people are so full of themselves.

Anyway. After the Mustang, I had a brief chat with Sal and got some useful insight about congress from him. I love talking technical with people and it was lovely getting some input from him about the privates. Got me all excited and is mentally preparing me for them

The more I think about it, the more I’m beginning to think that having a private is like going to a doctor. The coach will be able to diagnose what needs fixing but I think it’s probably best to go with a list of ailments – while any fix-it would do my dancing a world of good, to make the most out of the private, it would be best to get the concerns I do have allayed as well. And yes, I do have a list of questions in mind already. They won’t know what hit them. Hehehe.

ZOMG… about a week to congress!! A WEEK!!

Happy Nadie!

Current Mood: Bouncy

Cos really, when am I not little Miss Whiney?

But admit it, you guys like it because I can be downright hilarious whenever I rant. Hahaha.

I only have minor (albeit legitimate rants today). It’s been a frustrating weekend, to say the least.

It was way too hot. I had issues with my work. I managed to sleep at a weird angle which has left the base of my neck sore – the referred pain from which is giving me a headache. And the ball of my foot is still hurting – I probably should have gone easy on the spins last night but I was dying from lack of dancing and desperately needed to dance the pudge off. Oh and all weekend, I’ve been plagued by dreams which I can’t make heads or tails of.

Ironically, it was when I was feeling bleah last night when I was told that I was very light. I was talking to Gen about it and I’m glad she understood what I mean about trying to get into the zone for being “light”, how it’s like you’ve transcended into a mode where you just feel instead of think… and I am struggling to fine tune my trigger to get me into that mode. I think I’ve nearly got it but it’s just a frustrating case of close but no cigar. RAH.

Today I’m feeling horribly bleah. Pudgy, bloated and sore in places I won’t mention (girls, you know what I mean…) so I’m a real ray of sunshine today. Bleah.

But oh well, the MD is back today and he always makes me laugh. Today was pick on Nadia day though so he was making all sorts of wisecracks but it’s okay because I can hold my own with him. I love how everyone in the office has such a wonderful, non-political relationship with each other. I love that we can banter and have serious discussion. It’s awesome

Another plus is that congress is inching closer (as is Poot time and Adelaide). I’ve been forwarded a schedule of colour codes for each night of congress so I’m desperately looking through my wardrobe for things to wear. I think I have something for every night (while trying to keep my luggage to an absolute minimum so that I can shop more! hehe) but oh, it’s so hard to decide without my Cubby around to be my fashion consultant and to help me determine Flash Factor. Worst case scenario, I’ll just be a non-conformist I guess.

In the meantime, I will have to concentrate on trying to eat healthier this week so that I can shift a little bit of flab and squeeze into my dresses. The mandarin and ginger pudding I baked on the weekend and brought for lunch today probably isn’t gonna help, is it? Hahaha.

Now, to keep hydrated. To say this week is going to be a scorcher is an understatement. I might have to head to the beach sometime this weekend to cool off and get tanned for congress!

Pre-post Disclaimer: Please note that I am speaking in general terms here. This post has nothing to do with any of my current personal relationships. It’s just a reflection on some events that happened in the past, not just to me, but to my friends. Call it one of my rare, pseudo-philosophical moments.

Please also note that when I wrote this, my brain was half-fried. So I apologise for any convoluted gibberish.

It’s a common phrase that usually comes spilling out during an argument.

“If you/he can’t accept me for who I am.. then tough/it’s your loss/*insert appropriate retort here*”

I am guilty of using this phrase from time to time – usually when I feel threatened and feel the need to sell the fact that I am indeed awesome. I am trying to eliminate this phrase from my vocabulary because truth be told, I have a real beef with the whole “If you can’t accept me” precursory statement.

I don’t like this phrase because it implies that acceptance goes hand in hand with automatic approval and forgiveness.

Which is bullshit.

I think real acceptance is acknowledging there is a discrepancy (for example, a difference of opinion or a clash in values) existing in a friendship yet still choosing to maintain a positive relationship with that person. It’s about agreeing to disagree while moving forward because you both believe that there is a greater good to be reaped from pursuing a friendship. In some cases, it’s about merely tolerance* but the best form of acceptance would be respect – to be able to say, okay, we are different and your take is still valid just as mine is. Heck, isn’t that what love is: to care for someone even if they have flaws which drive you completely up the wall? To show support for someone even if you disagree with their point of view?

The bigger issue I have with this phrase is the fact that it clashes with my belief; that if you want people to accept the way you are, you should return the favour in kind and accept them for who they are. It would be hypocritical to say that people need to live with your flaws yet show no attempt at understanding theirs.

And here’s the issue I have with the “If you can’t accept me” precursor -  it comes across as an ultimatum. It’s forcing your terms on to someone. It reeks of arrogance. It is unyielding – take me as I am or else. Where is the consideration for the other person’s feelings and beliefs here?

I’m not saying that friendships never meet their end, in fact, sometimes they just have to for the sanity of both parties involved. My issue is with how they meet them – while I used to be the burn bridges kind of girl, I try not to be nowadays because I’d like to think that I’ve treated the people I interact with fairly. Because that’s how I want to be treated. Heck, doesn’t everyone deserve that?

And to use the – “if you were a real friend, you’d accept me” card is unfair. It’s emotional blackmail. Just because I don’t agree with one aspect of your existence, it doesn’t mean I’ll stop caring about you. To think that we can’t co-exist with our differences is just immature because it implies that my friendship is disposable and meaningless and it insults my emotional capability to handle things civilly and rationally.

Well, that’s my take on it anyway. And it makes me sad to think that even as we grow older, some of us just can’t handle things rationally.

But alas, emotions get the best of everyone and it leads to hasty, ill-thought actions.

And I just have to accept that.

—–

Edit @4.20pm: Had a bit more of a think. I think the only time you can use the accept me as I am card is when all of the following

• You have fully considered the other person’s point of view
• You are aware of your own faults – you are not proud of them, you don’t make excuses for them but you understand that you are human and infallible.
• You are trying to make provisions for said faults – to either be rid of them or exercise some self-control.
• You are saying this in a calm, rational situation. And not as a spur of the moment comeback.

Hmm. Food for thought.

—–

* I am reminded of a quote I saw on Kynne’s wall once

“Tolerance is, in our ears, an attitude you have towards something you believe to be wrong or inferior in some ways or towards something you generally do not like, but that you, for the sake of some other principle or value, are prepared to accept. While respect is an attitude that you manifest towards something you experience as equal or better than what you, yourself have; something you even think you might or can have something to learn from.”

I loved sports as a kid. I loved playing badminton with my neighbours in the field near my house. I loved the team sports we used to play at school during Physical Education. Given the choice, I would have much rather been outside getting tired and sweaty from playing netball (or Captain’s Ball… remember that?) than sitting inside with a book.

But I was never very good at sports. I couldn’t handle a hockey stick to save my life. I completely sucked at kicking so soccer was pointless. And really, I didn’t really have any outstanding athletic skills which made me stand out from everyone else.

I used to watch people compete during the school sports days and wish I could be more athletic. How cool would it be to be able to run as fast as her? Or be able to be part of a team that brought sporting glory to the school.

It wasn’t an overwhelming desire, to be honest. I was happy to accept my limitations as they were. But part of me always wanted to be a little more athletic.

Yesterday, Magic Hands was working my back (and my legs. and my glutes. and my feet. and…) when he said: dancing really takes a toll on the body. He went on to say something about treating other dancers and different ailments but I’d zoned out at this point.

At this point… I felt that maybe, just maybe, that’s what salsa dancers are. Athletes.

I mean, think about it.

Yes, we dance for pleasure but at the same time, to get those hours of pleasure, we put in so much time (at least in the beginning) in classes, private lessons and practice sessions to keep us at the top of the game. The really finicky keep working and working and working on nailing the little technical details.Our feet may hurt but we keep pushing ourselves just to perfect our spins. And we reap great satisfaction from getting a move down pat.

We have fun when we dance but we’re also subjecting our body to specific instructions. We have to make sure the weight is distribute in the right areas of our foot. That our core is locked. That we’re using momentum to our advantage. Our body has to be a good working condition in other to execute even the basic steps. As I was reminded yesterday during my private, even the littlest soreness in the right (?) place can cause chaos – I wasn’t a happy spinner yesterday because my right ankle (which I feel are already too small, too weak) and foot (which tend to roll out) just weren’t cooperating after being stilettoed by a heavy-footed dancer at the Mustang.

And that’s why I’ve been physio-ing regularly – to keep my body in check and in the best condition possible for salsa. I’ve also looked into and started taking various vitamins/supplements: fish oil (for heart health and to prevent joint inflammation), glucosamine sulphate (for preventative joint care because dancing wears out the joints) and lately, Ki (to reduce fatigue, in preparation for congress). I’m sure I’ve posted this link about nutrition for dancers before, but here it is anyway.

And ooh… while I was trying to look for that last article… I came across this and this.

Wow. I’m no professional dancer but I do dance a lot… so I guess I’m the closest to being an athlete than I’ve ever been in my life. And that make me smile.

Only thing is I don’t look like an athlete… because I sure as hell don’t eat like one! And I don’t think I’ll ever want to! hahaha!

I’m feeling positively feline today.

Last night, I had the earliest night since… who knows. All I know is that I was curled up in bed, watching videos on the iPhone by 10 and had a lazy morning stretch with the Fatty this morning before work.

Actually, the stretching hasn’t stopped – I’ve been stretching myself in all manner of weird contortions in an attempt to crack my back. And no, my colleagues have not even batted an eyelid because they’re that used to seeing my bendiness. I think I should apply for the job of office cat. Maybe I can get an afternoon siesta at my desk as part of my work package. Haha!

But back to what I wanted to say. The back’s been playing up on me. Mainly at the base of my neck and between my shoulder blades. Truth be told, I think that’s what’s been giving me headaches the last week or so. Not fun at all, especially since I need to get my butt on the computer and do some freelance work. Argh.

Aside from seeing Magic Hands tomorrow, I think I’m going to have to trek over to IKEA at some stage to get some new pillows. I suspect that crappy pillows are to blame for the soreness. If that doesn’t help, I think I’ll be forced to sleep with the electric blanket as heat therapy – not looking forward to that in this summer weather. The stiffness is really bugging me.

It’s not all bad news lately though. Someone came to me with a proposition earlier in the week. I’m a bit floored (and mostly flattered) by it, to say the least because even though it’s something I can manage, I think it’s a pretty huge responsibility… never mind the fact that I’ll be stepping into big shoes. Eep.

But. I have given it some thought and run it past a few people who seem to think that I should go ahead and do it. So I think, maybe, I’ll do it. Maybe. I have a few ideas in mind which I’d love to try out but I think I’ll need to do more pondering. Hmm.

Okay, this kitty wants salmon and is out to hunt the streets for something suitable to sate the craving.

Meoooooowr.

Current Mood: Zzzz

So I gave a friend of mine a massage the other night at one of the socials. It was a spontaneous thing – I thought he needed one and since he’s always so happy to give my sore neck/shoulders a massage, I thought I’d repay the favour. And hell, his shoulders and back were within easy reach anyway.

Imagine my (pleasant) surprise when he was so liberal with the OMGs. It was such a huge compliment coming from him because I think he gives the best massages (Mr Magic Hands, aside). It also made finding those trouble spots all the more satisfying.

It’s nice to know I still have the magic touch… even if I have been a little out of practice, seeing how I have no boy to lavish with massages. Yes, I love giving massages… almost as much as I love receiving them!

Oh well. Guess I’ll have to keep going with randomly massaging my (closer) friends for now then. Hahaha!

Current Mood: Bouncy